Everybody wants to make real the life we create in our daydreams. So few seem to know where to begin. If we know what this “good life” looks like, why can’t we just slide over to that space? It’s not that we lack the desire. You probably know more depressed and or frustrated people now than ever before — and the odds are that you are one of them. Years of thwarted yearning can do that to a person. Here’s the problem as I see it: we’ve each inherited a toolbox full of lovely, old, obsolete tools with which to build our lives. It’s a rusty toolbox. You know, the one our parents automatically handed down to us, as their parents did to them. How much freedom and joy did your parents find using those antiquated tools?
It’s not that powerful new tools aren’t available — they are. So why do most of us prefer instead to redouble our efforts using the old, outdated ones? First, we tend to choose pain repeatedly because conflict makes us feel stronger by giving our mind a position to side with. Second, we don’t much like change. Mixed together, these two traits are kryptonite to human potential and personal happiness.
The first step for anyone who wants the life they daydream about is not to take that money management course you’ve been considering. It’s impossible to change much by tinkering with the outside of your life, because all our power is on the inside. We have been given limitless power to transform. The catch is, we have the power to transform only one thing — our consciousness. That means the key to creating the life we want is learning to see everything differently.
Therefore, Tool #1 is: Allow Yourself to Open to Every Thought You Have — good, evil, whiny, et cetera. Only in so doing will you begin to see the patterns in your life, for it is our thoughts that create these patterns. Tool #2 is a corollary to this: Notice the Cycles of Thinking That Repeat On a Daily Basis. And they do repeat. We have a great deal fewer new thoughts daily then we tend to believe, so it can be a humbling experience to monitor our thoughts in every situation throughout the day.
A teacher of mine once said, “We are our responses.” If that is so, then be prepared to find out more than you ever wanted to know about who you’ve been playing at being until now. We tend to think of people who don’t know who they are as “troubled” or at least “deficient” in some way. But can you say that as you move through all the various situations that comprise your day you are authentically yourself?
There is a scene in the film “I Heart Huckabee’s” in which Jude Law asks, “How am I not myself?” without realizing the existential nature of the question. It’s worth pondering.
For now, the focus is on observing your thoughts and how they seem to clump together to form the beliefs that you carry around. These determine our responses when our buttons get pushed. Therefore it is absolutely necessary to use Tool #2 in a non-judgmental fashion. As you do so you will be taken gently by the hand and led into the deepest recesses of your true self. That may feel scary at first, but it does take a certain amount of courage to look yourself in the eye and say, “Okay, this is who I’ve been pretending to be so far, and I’m beginning to see that blaming (my friends, family, you fill in the blank) for my unhappiness isn’t the deepest truth. I am now going to start taking responsibility for my own happiness, even if that means I have to work pretty hard for awhile at not judging other people, as well as myself.” Cool it with the never-ending self-blame, if that particular shoe fits.
This may sound difficult to put into practice, but it will be eased considerably by Tool #3, which is Take Time to Go Within every day. This is not only a great stress reducer but your strongest ally in your efforts to live the good life. It’s been said that prayer is when you talk to God and meditation is when God talks to you. I don’t care if you believe in a “God,” but if you allow yourself to sit and listen to whatever moves through you as your body and mind quiet down, you will at some point hear and/or feel the presence of something greater than your personality self. It is that connection we are all seeking, regardless of our awareness that this is so.
This is our inner guidance system kicking in, and it is hardwired into each of us from birth. We just don’t know that because we’re taught from childhood to ignore it and allow only left-brain, logical thinking to drive the car. Unfortunately this has resulted in a planet full of people crashing into each other, sometimes acting as a nation.
The key to the universal library of wisdom has been in our pockets all along, but we never use it because we’ve always believed the message that it’s worthless. Every single piece of “common wisdom” we live by is meant to be questioned, people. That’s what waking up and finding ourselves requires. Until I discover for myself what really holds true and what just doesn’t work for me, I’m just mimicking being alive.
A simple breathing or mantra meditation daily, even if for only 10 minutes at first will send the message to your spirit that you are ready to get off your ego trip and at least open to hear the freeing possibilities that have always whispered their loving invitations quietly into your ear.
As long as we keep running all day the only voice we hear is the ego voice, because it’s loud and demands to be heard, often through threats, “shoulds” and fearful predictions about our future. Only when we are determined to say STOP to that reality and claim a quiet corner somewhere do we have a chance to hear our inner guidance system.
Tool #4: Act on What You Hear (or Feel) When You Go Within. Those who continue to choose the world’s noise over their inner wisdom are finding that the rate of change is now accelerating so rapidly they are starting to think they may never live the life they really want. It doesn’t have to be that way, if we remember to use our new tools.
By: Diane HauslerAbout the Author:
